Technically its tomorrow but i am still feeling the remnants left behind from Today. After a much needed therapy session with a future psychologist slash present amazing friend, i am feeling...big sigh...better. We had an amazing dinner at an Ethiopian/Moroccan restuarant and it was fabs. The food, the company and the chatter.
Today was an especially hard day on me. As i sit and write this now it is almost impossible to stop a tear from falling. I am feeling a bit empty. But its almost a good feeling. A feeling i needed to have. I think there comes a time in everyones life when they realize certain things about people they thought they knew. trusted. believed in. When those thoughts, when those certainties are tainted in anyway it is nearly impossible to feel the same way about this person.
Take that feeling multiply it by ten years and you get me = regretful.dissappointed.saddened.elated.hopeful.strong.assured.resilient.emotional.wishing.excited.confused.
I am a strong believer in karma therefore i know good things will come to me. I also know karma works both ways and i know someone out there is listening to my thoughts. my cries. my prayers. i trust they will be answered. I know i will be happy. I just never imagined it would take so long to get there.
Tonight i will lay down and cry. It is inevitable. It has already started. But i know that once i am out of tears-once the sun comes up-i will be renewed. I will feel empowered. And my good karma will start working for me again as it will also start working against anyone who finds it necessary to hurt me. I wish anyone that might fall into that category nothing but good things as you have your own demons to over come. I wish myself better things though.
And to my pal who listened to me tonight and guided me towards a better future, thank you. You are a true angel in my life & know exactly how to help me.